Writing Prompts for Codependency Recovery

• 1. Journal about the times when you have felt like giving up. Write down what you were thinking at those moments. What was going through your mind? Were you angry? Hopeless? Relieved? Overwhelmed? Was there a part of you that said “I am not strong enough”?
• 2. Think back to a time when you did something that made you feel really good. It might be as simple as feeling loved by someone or it could be as complex as doing something kind to someone else.
• 3. Describe a situation where you had a choice between two people to listen to. Who do you think would make the better listener? Why?
• 4. Do you believe that self-love is possible? If so, what does this look like to you? How do you know if you love yourself?
• 5. Is there any one thing you want to improve in your life right now?
• 6. When you hear yourself talking negatively about yourself — when you notice thoughts such as I cannot stand myself (or) I hate my skin color — what is going through your head? Are you wondering why you keep speaking negatively to yourself?
• 7. What does healthy anger toward a parent mean to you? What does healthy rage about an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend mean?
• 8. Take some time to write about your values and beliefs.
• 9. Journal about your experiences with loving someone and letting go of them. How did you let them go? Did you shed tears? Were you sad? Were you happy? Did you miss them?
• 10. List 5 things that make you smile. Also list five things that bring you happiness. Which do you rely more upon? Why?
• 11. What makes you think you need someone to complete you? Why is this important to you?
• 12. Have you ever heard about the idea of finding balance in your life? To understand what this means, ask 3 questions about your career, social life, health, spirituality, etc. – is there anything missing here?
• 13. Journal about a relationship you wish you had. If you can only choose one, which would you prefer? Why?
• 14. Write about a moment where you felt truly special. How did it happen? How did you feel?
• 15. Journal about a person who deeply affected your life growing up. What was he/she like? How old was he/she? Where did you meet him/her?
• 16. What does healthy jealousy mean to you? Have you ever experienced jealousy in your life? How did you react to it? What happened afterwards?
• 17. What is the best gift you have received from another person in your life? Why is giving the best gifts important to you?
• 18. Tell someone about a time when you were wronged. What was unfair about it? What was unfair about how the other person handled themselves?
• 19. When you say the word ‘codependent’ what image come into your mind? How often do you use negative terminology to talk about codependents?
• 20. Choose a time when you were very upset. Write about what brought on the distress. Explain what you thought and what actually went through your head during that period. You may find it useful to journal about this later on.
• 21. Think back to a moment where you felt safe. Did you feel happy? Sad? Anxious? Calm? Exploring these emotions may help you discover their meaning.
• 22. Take some time to reflect on all the ways that you are able to be kind to yourself. What might this look like? Write about your experience.
• 23. Think about a time when you felt angry at someone else. How did you express that anger? Perhaps, you could share your feelings with this person.
• 24. In what way has society influenced you to be sensitive to others? Think about times when you found it easy to be understanding towards others even though they hurt you or made you unhappy.
• 25. What words can you use to describe positive relationships? Write down some examples.
• 26. Write down 5 reasons why you choose to give or receive love.
• 27. Ask yourself 3 questions: Can anyone do what I do? Do I believe that I am talented? Am I worthy? How can I improve myself today?
• 28. Imagine if you could change one thing in your life. Would you? Why?
• 29. Think about times when you have given unselfishly of yourself. Describe this. Was it difficult? What did you learn from it?
• 30. Now imagine you could do something selfish, but your heart wasn’t attached to it. What would this feel like? How could you tell if this emotion were good or bad? Would you want to do this?
• 31. How many times have you been grateful for an opportunity that came unexpectedly? What does gratitude mean to you? What qualities should we have when we are grateful? For example, are we grateful because our family needs us, because we get to spend time with friends, or are we grateful because we are being paid well?
• 32. What was a moment when you knew that you had to grow up? Describe what this felt like. Were there any consequences to this decision? How did you handle them?
• 33. What’s the worst thing you’ve done as an adult? Why were you doing it?
• 34. Is there anything you wish you’d known before you chose to live out loud? What advice would you offer to someone who wants to write more openly?
• 35. Are you surprised by how much you have grown since you first opened this book? If so, describe the changes and the circumstances around those changes.
• 36. Think about all the people who care about you. Does it make you happy? If not, why not? How can you put your happiness first?
• 37. How do you define “love”? Make a list of things that you think meet the definition of love.
• 38. Remember a time when no one wanted to be near you or listen to your problems? What did you think then? What does this say about you now?
• 39. Who is the most important person in your life right now? Describe the relationship between you two.
• 40. What would you say to somebody who told you that they are depressed?
• 41. Think about a time that you failed to show kindness to someone close to you. What happened? Do you still regret this? Why or why not?
• 42. What was the best day of your life? How did it happen?
• 43. Write about three goals or dreams you once had that have changed—or haven’t changed—since you wrote last.
• 44. Do you look back on moments when you suffered or went through great pain, grief, or loss? What was going on inside you? What was going on outside you?
• 45. In which areas of your life do you need growth? Which areas aren’t growing yet? How can you create new opportunities for growth?
• 46. Think about a moment where you learned something about yourself. When you thought about the experience later, what emotions did you remember feeling? Did you understand these feelings better after having experienced them?
• 47. If you could ask God or the universe one question just to see his answer, what would that be?
• 48. Where do you look for hope? What is that hope based on?
• 49. What is the quality you most appreciate in other people? Now think about a time when you lacked such appreciation.
• 50. The more open and loving you’re willing to be toward yourself, the freer you will become. Describe some ways you have struggled to be more kind to yourself lately. What kinds of actions have helped you relax into self-kindness?
• 51. Think about the places in your life where you want to change. Are you ready to begin making those changes? Have you begun making the necessary steps to get there?
• 52. Write about a time when you failed to act lovingly toward another person. To whom/what was this failure directed? Was the outcome good or bad? Why?
• 53. Think about the times you have been hurt or disappointed. How has this affected you over the years? Give some examples.

Conclusion

I hope that these journaling prompts have helped you to fix your codependent relationships, as well as paving the way to a path of recovery from codependency. I also hope that they helped you realize some of the many faces of codependents. No matter how extreme or subtle their behavior may seem, the vast majority of us suffer silently from the effects of unhealed wounds.

It’s my wish that you continue to grow in awareness, understanding, and healing by using the ideas and methods presented in this workbook. As you explore each prompt, take an honest look at yourself and at your life situation.

Good luck!