Journal Prompts to Heal from Past Abusive Relationships and Negative Emotions

• 1. What did you do when you were first asked by someone you loved to stay away? Were you able to say yes? Why was it so difficult for you to answer? How did you feel when they said no?
• 2. What have other people told you was wrong about yourself? Did they tell you that you were stupid or crazy, worthless as a person? Why did you believe them? Have you ever looked back on these beliefs and changed them? If not, why haven’t you made any changes yet?
• 3. Write about all the things that you love about your family members. Include all the parts of who they are, without focusing on their problems or faults.
• 4. Share what you like about yourself. Don’t be afraid to tell anyone what makes you happy. You might surprise yourself!
• 5. List everything that hurts you, physically, emotionally, relationally, spiritually or financially. Be honest with yourself. It’s okay if you’re surprised at some of the answers you find.
• 6. Think about the worst thing that has happened to you in your life. Was it really bad? Was there something positive about it? Who helped you through this dark time? How could you use that experience to make better choices in the future?
• 7. Is there anything that you’re still angry about? Could it help to forgive yourself? Do you need forgiveness from those whom you hold responsible?
• 8. What does your heart tell you is important right now, whether good or bad? Try listening to your heart over the next few days.
• 9. Imagine that you’d never been hurt before; what would your world look and feel like? Would your choices and decisions be different? Would you be happier? What kind of life would you live now? How would others view you?
• 10. Think about what you’ve done in life and make an effort to change it. Make a list of all your problems and failures. What went well? How did you overcome failure and loss? Can you identify the key mistakes or lessons learned from each experience?
• 11. Tell the story of your life from beginning to end. How do you think it should play out? How can you change the ending?
• 12. When you’re feeling down about yourself or sad because of something that’s happening in your life, take a moment and breathe deeply. Let go of everything else except your breath. Feel your body relax. As you breathe, let the sadness pass.
• 13. What do you want most in your life right now? Are the things you wish for in your life possible or impossible? Why is it important to you to have them? How would they make you feel?
• 14. List three ways you can control one negative thought. Take a minute to reflect on which ones are easy for you to accomplish regularly. Which ones seem unrealistic?
• 15. What do you regret doing in life? Has the damage already been done? What can you do today to start moving toward resolution? How will you measure success? Will the goal always remain elusive?
• 16. What is your personal definition of happiness? Does this differ from how the rest of the world defines happiness? Do certain times or situations bring more happiness than others?
• 17. If you had a chance to relive any situation in your past, what would you do differently? What would you say to someone who was close to you or a loved one who had died?
• 18. Write down all the reasons why someone else loves you. Now write down all the reasons why you love someone else. Which reasons are shared by both people? Whom should you share them with first?
• 19. Have you ever hurt a friend or loved one intentionally or unintentionally? Do you know how to apologize? Explain how you feel when you did so. Were there any other consequences that came after apologizing? Did the person accept your apology?
• 20. Describe one kindness that you did last week. Make sure to include the person(s) you helped. Try not to focus on the reward or benefits. It could be as simple as letting someone borrow your umbrella or giving someone directions.
• 21. Imagine having several weeks or months ahead of time to correct every mistake you’ve made, even those you can’t remember. In your dreams, imagine how you would treat everyone. What would they think of you?
• 22. Imagine being able to heal any physical pain you may have from abuse, neglect or trauma. Would you choose to have gone through these experiences? How would you handle them if you were free from their effects?
• 23. Write down five goals or intentions you’d like to achieve over the next year. What actions would need to happen for you to reach them? Who will help you get there?
• 24. In order to grow, we must allow ourselves to become vulnerable and open up to new ideas and people around us. This also means learning to trust again and give our power away to someone else. Look at ways you can make this happen within your own life: “I will ask for help if I am stuck. What can I do to show my vulnerability to my friends?”
• 25. Write about an experience where you failed to act in the best way possible. Was the outcome good? Is there anything positive that has come out of your failure?
• 26. List five ways your life changed for better since the moment you decided you weren’t going to let anyone mistreat you anymore. Who helped you along the way? Where and when can you learn more about being respectful and kind?
• 27. Write about a time when you felt happy about yourself but then had a bad day later on. What caused the change in your mood? What happened?
• 28. Reflect on one thing you learned from others about self-care. Can you use what you learned to care for yourself?
• 29. If any traumatic event occurred in your past, which ones were most difficult for you? What would you tell her that she’s doing right now?
• 30. Share with someone else what makes you proudest about yourself. Why is it important for you to work hard towards accomplishing this goal?
• 31. Write down three things you enjoy doing or hobbies that bring you joy. Are you willing to share these interests with another person? What will he/she think of you?
• 32. Use the words you said before about becoming vulnerable. What does it mean to love yourself first?
• 33. Think about something you’re grateful for today. Make a list. Then think about someone who deserves it more than you. Take action by thanking him/her instead.
• 34. Create a goal for yourself that requires you to take some risks. After working towards achieving your goal, look back on the results. What was your greatest risk? Did it pay off? Explain why or why not.
• 35. Think about one of the most challenging moments you’ve experienced recently. Which aspect of it left you feeling angry and frustrated? When you feel ready, find a person who needs to hear about his/her part in the situation and express gratitude to them.
• 36. Look back on how your parents treated you growing up. Were you always allowed to speak freely? Did you ever receive compliments? Express gratitude for all the positive times your parents taught you about kindness and respect.
• 37. Name a specific person—someone in your family, community, or at school—who’s been a source of strength to you. Write him/her a letter of support. Thank that person for their impact on your life.
• 38. What have you done in the last few days to build your faith? How did you know something was right?
• 39. Do you tend to fall into negative thinking patterns often? Describe a recent instance of negative thinking that kept you from moving forward. Have you found a way to stop those thoughts? How could you apply those techniques in different situations?
• 40. When you are upset, how long do you hold onto anger? Does it get worse over time? When you’re able to control your anger, how do you express yourself differently?
• 41. Remember a time in the past when you were afraid to be vulnerable with other people. What did you do? How did you respond?
• 42. Share with someone else an experience where you received unexpected help. Was it helpful? If so, explain the reason.
• 43. Write about the many ways you are strong. Who helped you become stronger?
• 44. Imagine someone whose opinion you value very much. Is there anything about that person you wish you could say out loud? What advice might you give that person?
• 45. List five things you can do to make yourself proud. Share your goals with someone you trust. Would they appreciate hearing about them?
• 46. In the last week, have you made a habit of reading one page of non-fiction each day? Why is it important to read non-fiction books? How has it influenced your understanding of life?
• 47. Think about something you want to change in your life. For example, maybe you need to make new friends; start practicing social skills; eat healthier foods; go to sleep earlier on Fridays. Give yourself permission to try out new ideas and methods without being afraid to fail.
• 48. If you had ten minutes to talk to anyone in the world, whom would you choose to communicate with? What type of conversation would you have? Can you imagine the kind of person you’d like to talk to this way?
• 49. How does being alone affect your mood? Does it help you focus? Help reduce stress?
• 50. When you think you’ve “made peace” with another person, what happens instead? Are they still present in your mind? Can you tell if they love you and care about you?
• 51. Take some time to reflect on a situation in which you felt powerless. What did you do next? Was this powerlessness linked to your feelings of abandonment?
• 52. The future holds exciting possibilities for you as well as challenges. Which do you prefer? Can you expect both kinds of experiences simultaneously?
• 53. Write down six words to describe yourself. Read these aloud. What difficult emotions come alive through reading your own words?
• 54. What’s one thing you always strive to create or accomplish? How do you find motivation to achieve your goal? How are you inspired to move toward success?
• 55. Recall times when you wanted to let your guard down with someone but didn’t feel safe enough to speak honestly. Explain why you allowed fear to prevent you from asking questions, sharing feelings, or expressing your deepest needs.
• 56. When you feel hopeless or angry, why do you not simply say it out loud? What prevents you from speaking up directly?
• 57. Is there anything about yourself that you don’t like? Anything that attracts criticism or disapproval? Try to figure out what you could improve.
• 58. You are a compassionate person who loves others in spite of their faults. Why couldn’t you be more forgiving?
• 59. What was it like growing up with parents who were distant and emotionally unavailable? Were they physically abusive? Did they demonstrate affection through touch or other gestures?
• 60. Consider the following statement: I am responsible for my happiness. What makes this sound true? What causes you to question its truth?
• 61. What is something that brings you joy? Do you share your joy with others? Why or why not? Can you bring joy to others?
• 62. Describe three things you treasure most in your life right now.
• 63. Look at the people around you. Who do you observe spending lots of energy doing good things? Can you ask them how they manage so much kindness?
• 64. Imagine living in an ideal place. Where might you live? What exactly would your neighborhood look like? Would it be quiet and peaceful? Safe? Clean? Beautiful? Mellow?
• 65. Is any part of your life lonely? What can you do about it?
• 66. What are you learning about yourself today?
• 67. Is there anything you wish you knew sooner?
• 68. Choose five words to describe yourself. Write these down and then read them back to yourself. Notice what emotion comes up each time you hear your own voice.
• 69. Think about a relationship where you experienced betrayal and deep hurt. What are some ways you tried to cope with those wounds?
• 70. Write about a recent argument you had with another person. What happened after it ended?
• 71. If someone hurt you deeply in the past, how does he still affect your life? What do you need to know about him? How can you heal?
• 72. Do you have a feeling of safety that keeps you from being vulnerable? Why do you avoid vulnerability? When is it dangerous to open yourself up to new people and situations?
• 73. Identify four persons with whom you are close in spirit. What qualities make these relationships special? Which ones seem ordinary?
• 74. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt desperate? What did you do? What helps you regain control in such circumstances?
• 75. What makes a person a friend? What qualities do friends share? What characteristics separate friends? What else is important to a friendship?
• 76. Who are the people in your life who are strong and generous with themselves? With others? Do you get advice or help from them?
• 77. List five people to whom you owe gratitude.
• 78. Imagine what it feels like to have your heart fully opened. How different will your world become?
• 79. In what area of your life do you tend to take responsibility for others rather than accept guilt? Are there certain aspects of yourself that you blame for everything else bad happening to you?
• 80. Think about a relationship gone wrong. What is one thing you could say to repair trust between you and your partner?
• 81. Tell yourself this: You deserve love and care just as you are. No matter what you may feel or do, no one has a right to judge you about who you are inside.
• 82. Imagine loving yourself completely. Does this free you to receive pleasure without guilt, anger, depression, or anxiety? Why?
• 83. Have you ever made a conscious decision to give self-care priority over anything else? Try keeping a journal for a week and jot down every action you take toward your health. How well are you taking care of yourself?
• 84. Think about a moment when you saw something precious to you pass by unnoticed because you missed its beauty. Think about how you might express appreciation for the gift.
• 85. Think about a relationship that was painful but is now happy. What are some ways we sometimes keep our painful relationships alive?
• 86. Write about an experience when you were disappointed in yourself. What did you learn from it?
• 87. What changes would have a positive effect on your life? Can you be kinder to yourself? Give more attention to your feelings?
• 88. Consider what you can do to show compassion to yourself. Can you let go of blaming yourself for things beyond your control?
• 89. Do you believe that human beings are inherently good? Explain why or why not.
• 90. Is there anything you are afraid to admit to yourself? What if it’s true? Why should you hold yourself back?
• 91. What do people tell you about yourself whenever you ask them about your potential or value? Why do they want to discourage you?
• 92. What do you wish you knew about yourself? Your dreams?
• 93. Are you willing to forgive yourself for all you’ve done or failed to do? Forgive those who have harmed you? Why?
• 94. Take time out to reflect on your own experiences, talents, and abilities; consider what you have contributed to this world, or what you still need to contribute.
• 95. Make a list of positive attributes you possess. Now make a second list of negative traits you dislike about yourself. Which ones seem harder to change?
• 96. Describe the person you used to be. Would you recognize her/him? Why or why not? Has your past affected how you see yourself today?
• 97. What qualities are most important to you? When you find someone you really connect with, what makes these connections so special?
• 98. Look at the world through new eyes. What does seeing it differently look like to you?
• 99. Look into the mirror and describe yourself honestly. What do you see? What are the most important characteristics you have to offer?
• 100. Write about a time when you felt powerless. Was your environment supportive? If not, how did you cope?

Conclusion

I hope that these journal prompts have helped you to cultivate a healthy relationship in your daily life. I know that your past emotional abuse and past toxic relationship may have been traumatic, and that all of these negative emotions are very hard to overcome in one day.

Yet, with patience and perseverance, you will be able to heal from old wounds and live a happier and healthier life.

Best of luck!